Review by Ron Restanio...Software Developer with Progressive Insurance
I thought the book was definitely a romance novel which I don't normally
read but I was interested in the characters and it was an easy read. The
book spent a lot of time with each persons emotions and thoughts which
reminded me of watching a soap opera, but I think that may have been the
intention of the book. One of the details of the book that I thought was
very refreshing was that all the significant characters in the book were in
the their forties instead of their twenties. So many books seem to have
people that are successful and so young that it is difficult to believe,
this was more realistic.
I thought you could have developed the relationship of the Mother and
Father to the two college age children. It may be hard for children of
any age to realize divorced parents may have a social life.
Good luck on your next book.
Other Reviews and comments:
Awesome...Samantha is just so good....and she's real - any women could
relate. I wonder if (patient) men like Antoine really exist? It was a
good book. Keep it up!
Thanks - I finally read your book and really liked it Read it in two days
as had to see how it ended. Like those happy endings. Hear you have
another one to the publisher....you go girl....
By Robert Starr author of WHEN SHILOH COMES
Critique from Writers Literary Administration/Cynthia Sherman-October 2009...
The Current Synopsis—Does it intrigue? Does it explain the story fully and uniquely?
The current synopsis is brief, attention grabbing, and it highlights the important aspects of this manuscript. I feel that a potential publisher will be intrigued with this synopsis and they will want to read the manuscript. Nicely done.
What is the power of the opening 3–5 sentences?
Glancing over at Jerome Hudson, Michael Lee Patterson smirked and shook his head. A devilish grin etched across Jerome’s face as he added his latest entry into his palm pilot.
Jerome more affectionately called it his virtual black book. Both Jerome and Michael watched as Tina Black, Jerome’s latest entry, sashayed away from them. Tina dressed pretty much like her predecessors, with tight halter tops and shorts or skirts that left very little to the imagination.
The opening sentences are powerful. These sentences introduce characters and a setting perfectly. The readers will want to continue to read.
Dialogue (if any)—Describe and comment.
Dialogue adds life and interest to fiction stories. Each new speaker should start a new paragraph, use double quotations, and have all punctuation marks inside the quotes.
“Nah man. I’m over that.” Jerome replied rather unconvincingly.
“Sure. Try telling that to someone who doesn’t know any better.”
“Anyway, if I decided to go after a different type of woman, that wouldn’t be a problem either. There’s no woman on campus I couldn’t get if I really wanted her.”
Michael’s jaw dropped as he turned to face him, “Oh, really? You mean any woman on campus is fair game to you? You’re telling me you would have very little difficulty charming your way into the panties of any female student at this school?”
“I wouldn’t have put it quite that bluntly, but yes you name her, she’s mine.” A wide, confident smile came across Jerome’s handsome face.
The dialogue fits the characters perfectly. The dialogue is natural sounding and true to life.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this manuscript. The plot was entertaining and it was fun watching as these characters evolve. I feel that this manuscript is well thought out, well paced, and well written. The manuscript flows smoothly throughout. There is constant movement. The characters interact well with one another and the readers can visualize themselves within these scenes. Nicely done.
In my opinion I feel that this material has potential for success. I truly wish you luck with this endeavor.
A Friendly Bet by best friends regarding what began as a bet and ended in a love story. This story is one of the best entertaining and enjoyable reads for the summer of 2010! is a traditional with a twist. The story line keeps you craving for more, as the story reveals a friendly bet placed between two
Review by Micole Lumpkin 7/30/2010